Putting my heart on my sleeve...

I would suggest if you have no interest in my relationship, you should close this page now.

For the first time since I got to Germany, me and Joel had a really nice Skype session. Normally, it's me having a meltdown and him picking me up and sorting me out. Or it's him having a down day and us both chatting and typing without sound so that the sound of each others voices doesn't make us both cry.

Tonight, we spoke for four hours - mostly about our week and what we'd been up to. We only Skype once a week so it's nice to catch up and hear what we've both been doing.

Every week, he sends me a bunch of funny pictures to look through so we both had a laugh about them. It's strange how it's so different with Joel. I can laugh with him in a way that I can't laugh with anyone else. It's just a moment of pure bliss and happiness when we're both laughing together and I can't wait to be geographically with him again to hear his laugh properly. When he laughs, his whole body laughs and his shoulders go crazy - Skype just doesn't show that!

I also played a few romantic tunes and sang to him over Skype. My voice is sh*t anyway so I dread to think what Skype-quality-sh*t-singing he picked up the other end! Hope I didn't kill the romantic mood too much! 

I'm putting my heart on my sleeve a bit here but I never believed in love. I never believed those people who walked around confessing their undying love to another person. I used to think they should be locked up in a padded cell and fed weird and wonderful medication. 

I never believed in marriage either. Maybe it was the lack of a successful married role model, or maybe it was the serial bride role model that I did have? All around me, I saw divorce and broken families and I swore I'd never go down that road. I was sure I'd live my entire life independent and that marriage was just a piece of paper.

How things change? Things couldn't be more different. I am one of those people who wander around confessing my undying love for my boyfriend. I want to marry Joel and I know with every fibre of my being, that I will marry him and I will be with him for the rest of my life. I finally believe in marriage. I don't believe in divorce. I remember speaking to my Grandma not long after my Grandad passed away, and she told me about her and my Grandad going through hard times and they always got through it together. I want to be like my Grandparents. I want to potter around and make tea for Joel while he's snoozing on the couch in the sun after a busy morning of gardening and taking the grandchildren to the park to play tennis. This will make you laugh, but I want to have our false teeth in glasses of water next to each other by the side of the bed :P

Sure I want a career and I want to be independent and to show everyone what I can make of myself. But most of all, I want to be with Joel until the day I die. 

I've found my Prince. Now I want to live happily ever after <3