Misophonia

This post is a little different from most of my normal posts. This one is about Misophonia, which is also known as 4S or Selective Sound Sensitivity Syndrome. Misophonia literally means ‘hatred of noise’. There are certain noises that act as triggers for people, such as eating or tapping or sniffing. People who suffer from Misophonia can fall into one of ten categories based on the severity of their reactions.

If you’re at all interested, you can look on www.misophonia.com to have a look at the scale. I think almost everyone could identify with group one: 

“A person with a minimal level of involvement with Misophonia may be aware that some sounds can be a problem or an annoyance but does not seem to have a significant negative experience with them. Some people have commented on a sound “getting on their nerves.”’

Group ten reads more like this:
“At this level of the spectrum, people report having had violent behavior. They say they have physically attacked another person or have caused themselves some significant degree of harm.”

 

According to the self-test on the website, I suffer from Misophonia and I rank at about Group eight. It actually feels amazing to give my behaviour a rhyme and reason. For years I’ve found it difficult and uncomfortable eating with people. I hate the niggly habits people have but I’ve always assumed that it’s just a pet peeve and that I’ll get over it. But with certain people, my reactions are worse. If I feel comfortable around them, I’ll slam things, throw things, shout and get really hot-headed. If I’m not so comfortable around people, I tend to just sit and shake and bounce my legs in an attempt to distract myself. 

A thing that everyone should understand about Misophonia is that it’s not just that it bugs you or you’d rather someone had table manners. It’s something that drives you to the point where you get so wound up that you want to lash out and make it stop. I feel really sorry for Joel and admire him at the same time. We rarely argue but when we do, it’s when he eats and I kick off. I’m not a confrontational person, in fact I would rather run from a fight, but when it comes to eating I will just explode. It’s been reassuring to know that I’m not just someone with a short fuse and a sharp tongue. I hate myself for being so harsh with him – after all, he’s only eating! 

It’s not only Joel that gets it in the neck. My best friend Aim will get glares and comments when she’s munching away on sweets. It doesn’t help that she’s incredibly asthmatic and would probably die if she had to eat with her mouth closed the entire time. It doesn’t stop me from wanting to scream at her though! Her Dad is worse. On family holidays or whenever we go out for food together, I make every effort to sit as far away from him as possible because he eats like a goat. He grinds his teeth together with his mouth open and you can hear every smack of his lips. I feel my blood pressure rise instantly and I have to look away or make some other noise to cover it. 

Do you want to know more bad news? There’s no cure or treatment for it. At least, not yet. It’s not a hearing problem that can be resolved at the ENT clinic. It’s down to the individual to find their own methods of coping. This is where I struggle. No matter how much I glare or shout, I can’t begin to relax until the noise has stopped and I’m distracted by something else. Once I hear the noise, I can’t shut it out or focus on anything else. My coping mechanism may well be to walk away. I don’t really know yet, I haven’t got that far.

But if you’re still reading this, firstly I thank you, and secondly I’d like you to raise awareness of it. If there’s somebody you know who gets cranky or violent when you make a noise, even if YOU don’t notice it, show them the Misophonia website. It might mean the world to them to know that they’re not acting irrationally and that they do have something beyond their control. Spare a thought for the person next to you in a restaurant who may feel the urge to stab you with your own steak knife if you’re eating with your mouth open. Feel sorry for the person giving you a death stare as you sit there tapping your feet. Think twice before arguing with the person asking you not to pop your chewing gum. We can’t help it! 

And if we’re ever out together for food and I run away, I’m sorry in advance ;)